The End of an Era

It is with a heavy heart that I write this entry. At about the age of 9 months, in order to sleep, Gabby began rubbing the tag on her pink blankie while sucking her thumb. She got the blankie from Auntie Laura when she was born. It is the kind that is satin on one side and some kind of extra soft microfleece on the other. We thought for sure she'd love this blankie and get in the habit of wanting it for comfort because it was so soft. Very few realize that it was my fault that she became enamored with no other part of this soft and cuddly blankie save the "taggie". Gabby had MAJOR sleep issues. Somehow (I think we tracked this one back to Auntie Laura) Gabby got into the habit of only being able to sleep while strapped into her little carseat carrier with a dryer running. It sounds ridiculous, yes, but after I realized that she would SLEEP for more than 10 minutes at a stretch if the dryer was running, believe me, I didn't care. So, for about a year, the only way she would nap was in the car seat (we didn't do it at night), in the laundry room, dryer running, blankie "B" in the seat, and tag in hand. I think that one day I saw her grab the tag so ever after, to settle her down in there, I'd find the tag and hand it to her. The second she'd get that tag in her little hand, she'd start to suck her thumb. She never ever sucked her thumby unless taggie was in hand. It was like an automatic reflex. The dryer eventually became a thing of the past...but taggie remained. As soon as she could talk, she named the blankie "B" and the tag "taggie" and it remains so to this day. I had a backup "B" but the taggie on that IDENTICAL blanket came off one day and, in an attempt to save my own sanity should one blankie ever be lost, I sewed the ratty tag back on. From that day forward, the sewn-on taggie blankie was never as good, so the one blankie became known as "Nice B" and the modified one, "Other One B". She only ever wanted Nice B but she'd settle for Other one B if it was an emergency. The taggie on Nice B, as you can imagine, began to get extremely worn....and then nasty...and then worn some more...Gabby had Nice B for 3 years and taggie was a champ...even after losing half of itself to rubbiness and grime.

And then, something terrible happened. About a week ago, I noticed that all that remained of taggie was essentially a 2 inch thread of sorts...but Gabs didn't care, it was still enough taggie to rub...until 4 days ago. I was downstairs with her, getting ready for bed when I heard from my office, "Oh, no!" And with that, B and taggie were no longer one, but two. Gabby held onto disconnected taggie for about an hour and then it was gone. She didn't cry or fuss or even get upset. We took some pictures just to remember taggie. I went upstairs and told Daddy and he agreed that I should find the little scrapper and put it in her keepsake album. So I quickly ran downstairs and combed the floors and bed but taggie had fanished. At first I imagined that it was just lost among the carpet fibers or in her bedding somewhere. As she busily sang and played, I was desperately searching for this teeny little momento of my baby girl. But alas, taggie was nowhere to be seen. I realized later that it probably wasn't lying somewhere waiting for the vacuum to eat it up, but rather, it went to taggie heaven. It's resting peacefully beside all the forgotten fibers from my brother Nick's blankie corners that he'd eat up by sticking in his eyes and nose, it's joined my own "minky", the one which my mom tells me I would go to outside when it was drying on the clothesline and hold on to it there because I just couldn't wait until it was done drying. Yes, taggie has gone to a better place, but we were all better for having had taggie here. It was a good taggie. Poor B will never be the same

As for Gabby, that night she didn't want B anymore. She still wasn't upset, just matter of factly answered, "No", when I asked her if I should get B, which had been a NECESSITY every night for 3 years. She slept just fine that night and is sleeping just fine now too. She still sucks her thumb but her little fingies seem to be doing the tag rubbing ritual in the air. It's so sad and sweet to see her thumb and pointer rubbing each other as if to console one another on the loss of "B taggie". Despite the loss, Gabby seems to be adjusting well, which to a mommy, is almost as heartbreaking as if she would be adjusting not-so-well, for you see, my baby is growing up.
Detached Taggie On Gabby's Belly (one last rub)















Taggie in one hand, B in the other














Taggie