Many Memories Pink Birth Announcement
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Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Worthy of coming out of blog retirement
How much is that polly in the tubby?
The one with the piggly toes...
How much is that polly in the tubby?
I do like her cute turned up nose.
PS She's not for sale.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I Finally Made it to the Top
Tonight I was returning back to my office on the 2nd floor of my building at the company I've worked at for over 11 years. As I was pressing the elevator button I was simultaneously overcome with two feelings. One was guilt caused by the signage posted immediately outside of the elevator scolding employees to actually WALK up the stairs rather than laze it up the elevator. These signs are pretty good too. They say things like, "Exercise more than your finger, take the stairs!" Clever. I was particularly guilt-ridden since I'd just gotten done working out and really, two levels? Bum.
The other feeling was one I don't often experience. I hate to even bring it up. I told myself I'd write it down, though, in an effort to be honest and to remember the little things. The other feeling was the teeeniest, eeeniest sense of pride. Even typing it makes me cringe a little. I think I should erase this whole thought from my head and the computer and pretend I wasn't proud. But the truth is, I was a little bit proud of myself or at the very least, I felt a wave of a sense of accomplishment. And you know what? It felt good. So there. The truth is and what I actually thought was, "hmmm, neat". So I'm going to call it "neat" instead of pride. I felt neat.
The reason for my "neat"? I realized standing at that elevator, that I had been there before. I was suddenly brought back to 1999, my first year of law school. I was working as an engineer and attending school nearly full time at night. I was somehow emboldened one day to pick up the phone and call one of the big shot patent attorneys who had worked here for years in an effort to learn more about what I one day wanted to do. The patent attorneys sat in an adjoining building which housed all of the big shots. This building used to be the headquarters and the big shot attorneys sat on the 2nd floor. I wasn't at all convinced I'd ever be 'good enough' to wind up in the role of these guys on the 2nd floor. And I was okay with that. I enjoy my job, I really enjoy learning new things. But I was never what you'd call very confident. I was so intimidated then, I felt so insecure and yet, I pressed the button to the elevator (I must have ignored the signage then too) and waltzed right in to several attorneys' offices having absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. Some of those lawyers are still here. And so I am. They are big shot patent attorneys still and as fate (and quadrillions of hours of studying) would have it, I am one too, minus the 'big shot'. Fortunately for me, I think my lack of confidence makes me work harder. I believe I've worked very hard but always my family came first so even with hard work, the 2nd floor still seemed out of reach.
But tonight I pressed that same elevator button to that same floor and waltzed into my lovely little office, with pictures of my lovely little kids plastered everywhere and my work splayed about. The odds were against me winding up here on the second floor of this builiding working as a patent attorney. The building changed and different groups have moved in and out. My group really didn't even belong here and this has only been our temporary holding place for a year or two. In fact, we're moving in a few weeks to a new building and we'll be on the 7th floor, the 8th floor being the top.
But you know what? I think this temporary location of mine was meant to be so that for one moment in my work life I could say, "I made it to the top". You see, the second floor of this building is the top floor.
If only fleetingly, I've come full circle and I'm not ashamed to say, I think it's pretty neat.
Post Script: Paula (very sweet) reminded me of the post script I wanted to include. I believe that God gave me my little moment yesterday because just yesterday morning I was telling Rachie that I really didn't think I could do my job. I was feeling pretty crummy about the whole thing. And just like that He swoops in with the message, "You can and you are good enough, I made you that way". But I especially love the irony that He makes sure I don't get a big head or too carried away with this pride thing--He is after all, knocking me down a level (7th floor remember?) and I'm perfectly happy with that.
The other feeling was one I don't often experience. I hate to even bring it up. I told myself I'd write it down, though, in an effort to be honest and to remember the little things. The other feeling was the teeeniest, eeeniest sense of pride. Even typing it makes me cringe a little. I think I should erase this whole thought from my head and the computer and pretend I wasn't proud. But the truth is, I was a little bit proud of myself or at the very least, I felt a wave of a sense of accomplishment. And you know what? It felt good. So there. The truth is and what I actually thought was, "hmmm, neat". So I'm going to call it "neat" instead of pride. I felt neat.
The reason for my "neat"? I realized standing at that elevator, that I had been there before. I was suddenly brought back to 1999, my first year of law school. I was working as an engineer and attending school nearly full time at night. I was somehow emboldened one day to pick up the phone and call one of the big shot patent attorneys who had worked here for years in an effort to learn more about what I one day wanted to do. The patent attorneys sat in an adjoining building which housed all of the big shots. This building used to be the headquarters and the big shot attorneys sat on the 2nd floor. I wasn't at all convinced I'd ever be 'good enough' to wind up in the role of these guys on the 2nd floor. And I was okay with that. I enjoy my job, I really enjoy learning new things. But I was never what you'd call very confident. I was so intimidated then, I felt so insecure and yet, I pressed the button to the elevator (I must have ignored the signage then too) and waltzed right in to several attorneys' offices having absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. Some of those lawyers are still here. And so I am. They are big shot patent attorneys still and as fate (and quadrillions of hours of studying) would have it, I am one too, minus the 'big shot'. Fortunately for me, I think my lack of confidence makes me work harder. I believe I've worked very hard but always my family came first so even with hard work, the 2nd floor still seemed out of reach.
But tonight I pressed that same elevator button to that same floor and waltzed into my lovely little office, with pictures of my lovely little kids plastered everywhere and my work splayed about. The odds were against me winding up here on the second floor of this builiding working as a patent attorney. The building changed and different groups have moved in and out. My group really didn't even belong here and this has only been our temporary holding place for a year or two. In fact, we're moving in a few weeks to a new building and we'll be on the 7th floor, the 8th floor being the top.
But you know what? I think this temporary location of mine was meant to be so that for one moment in my work life I could say, "I made it to the top". You see, the second floor of this building is the top floor.
If only fleetingly, I've come full circle and I'm not ashamed to say, I think it's pretty neat.
Post Script: Paula (very sweet) reminded me of the post script I wanted to include. I believe that God gave me my little moment yesterday because just yesterday morning I was telling Rachie that I really didn't think I could do my job. I was feeling pretty crummy about the whole thing. And just like that He swoops in with the message, "You can and you are good enough, I made you that way". But I especially love the irony that He makes sure I don't get a big head or too carried away with this pride thing--He is after all, knocking me down a level (7th floor remember?) and I'm perfectly happy with that.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Only 560 miles to go!
...including the actual marathon that is. The training program includes about 530 miles when all is said and done.
Hubs, are you awake? Can you feel your legs? Did you take the Advil like I told you? They say the first 4 miles are the hardest. After next week it'll be a breeze. I swear.
I am SO EXCITED and a little taken aback. After years and years and years I decided that this was my year. My year to commit to running a marathon. Bajillions of people do it but I've always put it off. I've been running for almost 20 years but I've nevereverever challenged myself even in a measly 5k, much less a marathon! So this year, when Laur was polling everyone to see whether she should do it, I made the decision that I would do it with her--and Anna. And I think Deb too. See? everyone does it. But the reason I'm excited is because when I asked Matt what he thought about it, he unflinchingly said, "Go for it". Of course he did, he's supportive of everything I do.
I have no idea how it was brought up but he said he'd do it too. WHAT?! "Are you serious? You mean really? You'd sign up and train and run and go up there with me and you'd RUN THE MARATHON?" He said 'yeah, I would' and the next day (yesterday) he went to Target and bought a pair of sweatpants. He put them on and three sweatshirts and just like that went running for the first time in almost 20 years--and he ran 2 miles. He also ran 2 miles on the treadmill tonight. I took this picture after he passed out while talking to me about how his legs were so sore from yesterday he couldn't walk. He said he could have gone farther on the treadmill tonight but he couldn't feel his legs, they were numb. But he did it!
This is HUGE. As long as I've been running, he has never been a part of that part of my life. To have him suddenly involved is nearly unbelievable. Plus I'm so happy that his heart will get a work out. Maybe his BP will even go down a bit. And most of all, maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to get away and go for some of these training runs together. Ooooooh I'm practically giddy.
Wish us luck!
Hubs, are you awake? Can you feel your legs? Did you take the Advil like I told you? They say the first 4 miles are the hardest. After next week it'll be a breeze. I swear.
I am SO EXCITED and a little taken aback. After years and years and years I decided that this was my year. My year to commit to running a marathon. Bajillions of people do it but I've always put it off. I've been running for almost 20 years but I've nevereverever challenged myself even in a measly 5k, much less a marathon! So this year, when Laur was polling everyone to see whether she should do it, I made the decision that I would do it with her--and Anna. And I think Deb too. See? everyone does it. But the reason I'm excited is because when I asked Matt what he thought about it, he unflinchingly said, "Go for it". Of course he did, he's supportive of everything I do.
I have no idea how it was brought up but he said he'd do it too. WHAT?! "Are you serious? You mean really? You'd sign up and train and run and go up there with me and you'd RUN THE MARATHON?" He said 'yeah, I would' and the next day (yesterday) he went to Target and bought a pair of sweatpants. He put them on and three sweatshirts and just like that went running for the first time in almost 20 years--and he ran 2 miles. He also ran 2 miles on the treadmill tonight. I took this picture after he passed out while talking to me about how his legs were so sore from yesterday he couldn't walk. He said he could have gone farther on the treadmill tonight but he couldn't feel his legs, they were numb. But he did it!
This is HUGE. As long as I've been running, he has never been a part of that part of my life. To have him suddenly involved is nearly unbelievable. Plus I'm so happy that his heart will get a work out. Maybe his BP will even go down a bit. And most of all, maybe, just maybe, we'll be able to get away and go for some of these training runs together. Ooooooh I'm practically giddy.
Wish us luck!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
A Uninvited Visitor Will Come Tonight
As I pulled into the circular marked drive behind three big orange school buses to pick Gabby up from kindergarten today, I had no idea that I was about to experience that moment when I could actually envision her graduating, moving away, getting married and having babies of her own. That moment when I would truly know that no matter how many birthdays go by and I tell her "ok, that's enough now, you can stop at 5, just stop growing please, thank you, I love you" she'll go on to have another and another and another.
I no sooner dashed across the crosswalk, in between the two buses, scooped her up in my arms and began walking back to the truck when she beamed with a different kind of twinkle in her eye, "Mommy, today was a really special day for me at school..." I thought she was going to say she was the 'milk helper' with her best friend Rosie (major deal) or line leader yet again for being such a good example for the other kids! I was not expecting nor can I yet accept the real reason for her pride:
...but I'll accept it, take it with all the rest, just like Polly changing from calling Anabella "Bea Bea" to a very grown-up and pronounced "BEL-LA" emphasis on the "LL"s, just like I have to accept that Polly figured out how to escape her cribby--and all this in the last week...just like I have to accept that Bella will soon grow out of her Disney princess phase much the same as Gabby and graduate to more sophisticated things like digital cameras and make-ups...just like I have to accept that my little Bubbyman would rather help his daddy go to the "daddy store" than make cookies with me.
And tooth fairy? If you're listening, fine, you can come, but I've got my eye on you lady...and please if you would pass along a message to Santa that he's not off the hook for at LEAST another 10 years. Or so.
I no sooner dashed across the crosswalk, in between the two buses, scooped her up in my arms and began walking back to the truck when she beamed with a different kind of twinkle in her eye, "Mommy, today was a really special day for me at school..." I thought she was going to say she was the 'milk helper' with her best friend Rosie (major deal) or line leader yet again for being such a good example for the other kids! I was not expecting nor can I yet accept the real reason for her pride:
...but I'll accept it, take it with all the rest, just like Polly changing from calling Anabella "Bea Bea" to a very grown-up and pronounced "BEL-LA" emphasis on the "LL"s, just like I have to accept that Polly figured out how to escape her cribby--and all this in the last week...just like I have to accept that Bella will soon grow out of her Disney princess phase much the same as Gabby and graduate to more sophisticated things like digital cameras and make-ups...just like I have to accept that my little Bubbyman would rather help his daddy go to the "daddy store" than make cookies with me.
And tooth fairy? If you're listening, fine, you can come, but I've got my eye on you lady...and please if you would pass along a message to Santa that he's not off the hook for at LEAST another 10 years. Or so.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
First Day of School
My first baby had her first day of school on the first Tuesday in September. It was the first time I cried at the thought of her growing up and having a billion more firsts. But she didn't see me, I choked it back because she was so excited and I didn't want her worrying.
Many blessings have already found their way into this new chapter. We happened to walk in at the same time as a friend and her daughter. Gabby was walked to her classroom with this little girl who is now officially Gabby's friend. All week they sat next to one another. Gabby asked me the second day, "Momma, if I want her to be my friend should I ask her to be my friend or my cousin?" Since her cousins=her best friends, she just wanted clarification on the proper term to use. She got to be the teacher's helper on the first day and was so proud. Incidentally, the teacher has the same last name as us so it's another nice familiar thing for her (Matt's cousin). She is doing beautifully, I knew she would. Still, she is my first. She'll always be.
I didn't think I'd be the cliche Kindergarten Mommy but I was. How could I not have been given this scene? Your complimentary hankies are in the mail.
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Monday, June 16, 2008
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